Time. . . .I realize that is a gift God has given me. Time to volunteer in areas I had been able to before. Time to spend with my children and husband. Time to work in a new field--healthcare. And most importantly, time to listen to His calling, His leading.

Unfortunately, I do not always treasure this gift. I want to know where I am supposed to serve, what He wants me to do. And I want to know RIGHT NOW!!! But that is not His way: "My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. Isaiah 55:8. So I must wait on Him. Let Him guide me.

I want to know what He has in mind and I know that in time I will as difficult as the waiting may be. For now I have to content myself in growing where He has planted me. Allowing myself to be watered by His love and His unfailing, everlasting Word. Reminding myself to turn towards the Son.

It is a challenge because so many around me want to know when I am going to nursing school, and then are puzzled at hearing that I didn't get in. To many, that is a surprise and they expect me to turn around and look elsewhere for nursing school. But it is not a simple process. Even if I were to get into a program I would then have five years of college education with only two associate degrees to show for it.

How do I tell people who have heard me say numerous times over the past 10 years that I wanted to go into nursing that now I don't know if that is where I am meant to be. Even harder is to tell them where I feel I am being led. They don't seem to understand that I try to put God into the center of my life and to let Him lead me despite what my own self may want to do. (That said, I often fail miserably at this endeavor) If I told them I wanted to pursue staff ministry, it would confuse them. Perhaps even confound them and their faith--after all, women aren't supposed to be anything but teachers in the WELS (at least that is their misconception).

I want people to pray for me. To ask that the Lord clearly show me His plans for me. But how do I ask them to pray for me when I am afraid that they will not be supportive if the Lord is leading me to ministry.

God is our Refuge and Strength, an ever-present Help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10